So It’s Not About Me?
Today, I found myself in a familiar place in my mind. Thinking about myself. I was rapid-firing one question right after another: What am I going to do today? What do I want for breakfast? Did I make a wrong decision? How is God going to work this situation out for me? When am I going to get a vacation?
By all of the traffic careening chaotically through my brain, you would think my entire life revolves around me….wait, that is exactly what my life does. It revolves around me, but it isn’t supposed to.
If you watched my “About Me” video, you know what my favorite TV show is. If you haven’t watched it yet, leave this rambling reflection and go find out. No, seriously, you don’t have to do that. I’ll tell you.
On The Chosen, my favorite TV show, the disciples pull their identity, their purpose, and their plan from the person of Jesus. If He isn’t around, they are looking for Him. If He’s sneaking off to be by Himself with the Father, they are chasing Him down. When he tells them He is going to leave them, they are lost. They are lost because everything about their lives and focus is built upon the foundation of the Kingdom. A Kingdom that doesn’t have bricks and mortar, thrones, or jeweled crowns. A Kingdom that isn’t of this world—unseen by eyes but experienced with the spirit.
That’s not to say that they always get it right. Sometimes they fight over seating arrangements in heaven, or argue over who is worthy to be part of the crew. Or who does the most work or has the most important job.
But even when the disciples are trying to figure out the parables and the metaphors, even when they are watching Jesus perform signs and miracles, even when they stare in shock and disbelief as He faces down the religious leaders, it is never about them. You don’t get the feeling, “Oh, Thad is going to be the hero of this story today!” Or “Let’s see what amazing thing Peter does!”
Absolutely not! As you watch each episode, there is no doubt who the protagonist is. You don’t have to wonder about the hero. Jesus is the hub that everything and everyone spins around. It is God’s world; we are all just living in it. (Wink, Wink Dallas)
So why am I so focused on me? Even on my best day, I’m asking, “What do you want me to do today?” As if everything in the kingdom rises and falls with me, and God doesn’t start working until I show up.
My first question each day should be framed from a different perspective—“Holy Spirit, what are you already doing today that I can join in? I forget that God is immanent. He is always moving and working in this world. Interacting in the lives of His children. Jeremiah 23:23 says, “‘Am I a God who is only close at hand?’ says the Lord. ‘No, I am far away at the same time. Can anyone hide from me in a secret place? Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?’ says the Lord.”
In the words of John the Baptist, “He must increase and I must decrease.” How different would my life be if I were always chasing Jesus like the disciples? If I left behind what I perceive to be the greatest parts of me to obtain Christ?
I think my life would mirror the parable of the man who found a great treasure hidden in a field. He sold everything he had to possess it. No questions asked.
So today, remind me, Holy Spirit, that it really isn’t about me at all. For those who lay down their lives every day for Jesus…lay down their desires, their plans, their agendas…those are the ones who find life. And not just any life—abundant, overflowing, eternal life!